I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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