Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize