He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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