goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize