My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
