we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
