I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
