Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
