elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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