u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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