i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
