your parents love me but you hate me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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