Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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