I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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