Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
