you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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