Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
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You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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