therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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