just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
