Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You were trust falling into bushes
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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