I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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