absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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