I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You're like the curious george of whores
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
