Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
