Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
