Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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