If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
