I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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