Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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