Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
