My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize