his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
