THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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