i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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