So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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