she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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