Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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