I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize