Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
