It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drunk walkin through police station. America
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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