I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
