Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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(845): View more from New York

puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"

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(810): View more from Michigan

I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.

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(812): View more from Indiana

he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

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(813): View more from Florida

My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls

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(443): View more from Maryland

i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.

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