i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
