how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
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Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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