turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize