You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
