You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Come see our sink grown plant.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
