would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
