fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
