He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
