Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
