Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
