careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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