best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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