you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
