Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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