He disabled his match.com account in front of me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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