She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
