im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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