is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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