If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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