What a fucking waste of an outfit
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
