Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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