Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
