The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
soo... how was my night?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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