I hate your face
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So vagazzling was a success
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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