remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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