Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
