I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
