Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize