I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize